baseball simulation 7

a fictional game

Baseball Simulation 6 had too many birds and Baseball Simulation 2 had this terrible glitch that gave all the food a waxy residue, but it seems like they’ve finally worked out the details in Baseball Simulation 7. The mid-afternoon sun is so clear and high that I see spots when I close my eyes. The oily sheen of your sunscreen makes tiny rainbows in the etchings of your face. The green grass is so green. The blue sky is so blue. 

When the Simulations first came out, everyone did a bunch of crazy shit, exactly what you’d expect: flying, fucking, euphoria-mining. Younger generations, the ones who barely spent any time in a corporeal body, still tend to loiter in the less grounded experiences. But older people, those who entered Simulations from their 30s onward, are inclined toward things that could have happened in our original world.

One might think that the wild, previously impossible stuff would remain gripping forever. But after a certain amount of hedonism, most people return to what they used to have, just a rosier version of it. 

Baseball Simulation 7 delivers that exactly: a normal baseball game, but the very best version of normal. 

We’re watching the game as a family, which is to say that in this Simulation, we have a daughter. The Simulation informs me that she is the light of our lives, which we were hoping would be the case but couldn’t confirm until it happened. Her name is Plum. I am very relieved that I like her. 

In fact, I like her so much that even though she is whining for Cheez-its in a way that’s not particularly likable, I can’t help but be touched by how closely she resembles us: a nose tip that crests over itself to form a pearl (you); barely there eyebrows (me); round, glassy irises that catch the light (you and me). I like her so much that it heightens my liking of you: your crinkly-eyed laugh, your simple allegiance to love, your frustratingly generous worldview. Our daughter is pouting and the weather is too warm and within me is a grace no other Simulation has evoked. 

I fish out the plastic baggie of Cheez-its and hand it to Plum, who softens within the span of two crackers. Your presence feels more familiar and reliable than ever. I lean back in my chair. I watch Plum, who looks so small in her seat. I watch the players, who look so small down there on the field.

The Simulation shows us a realistic game: a double play, a few RBIs, and a clean foul ball catch from a middle school-aged boy who jumps up and down after it lands in his mitt. I reach for your hand. You squeeze mine back. I observe our fake daughter, who is the best and worst parts of us. The home team wins. 

I leave Baseball Simulation 7 a five-star review and the following feedback: Perfect, just enough to remind me how much I would have cared about all of this.